Misunderstood
by HinoYashaKitsu
Summary: SaiXem Saix yearns for a heart, like so many others. He and Xemnas are lovers for the time being, but Saix knows it won't last long... Xemnas would put work over a relationship any day... even if it was with his righthand man...
1. Molto Mesto

**a/n: **Agh... I'm uploading stuff like crazy it feels D: . . . Anyhow, this is another story that a friend helped write. [Nawa-chan The three main characters are Saix, Xemnas, and Marluxia I suppose... ; It was meant as a oneshot; but will be followed by a bonus story of the direct aftermath (where Marluxia comes in)... This story includes Christmas themes ,because this is a late X-mas story, sorry Here's the story although:

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**Misunderstood**

A Kingdom Hearts fanfiction

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Saïx flipped through the heavy dictionary, glancing over pages looking for the one word... 

_**mis·un·der·stand**_

_Pronunciation: (ˌ)mi-ˌsən-dər-ˈstand_

_Function: transitive verb_

_Inflected Form(s): mis·un·der·stood -ˈstu̇d; mis·un·der·stand·ing_

_Date: 13th century_

_1 : to fail to understand_

_2 : to interpret incorrectly_

He grabbed the thesaurus from beside him; he thumbed through the pages and found the same word:

_**misunderstand**_

_Function: verb_

_Text: to fail to understand the true or actual meaning of you misunderstood that poem because you didn't look up the words you didn't know _

_Synonyms: misapprehend, misconstrue, misinterpret, misread, miss, mistake_

_Related Words: misconceive_

_Antonyms: apprehend, catch, comprehend, conceive, fathom, grasp, know, make out, penetrate, perceive, savvy, see, seize, take in, understand_

The Luna Diviner sat still momentarily to think about himself... 'Yes.' He told himself 'I am merely misunderstood...' He pushed his blue hair back behind his ears and read other words on the page; his gaze fell upon 'miscreant'. He scowled; it meant 'Unbelieving, Heretical' and also 'Depraved, Villainous'. He slammed the book shut and threw it across the room, snarling at it.

"Damnit!" He stomped his foot on the ground as he stood to retrieve the book. Slowly, he set the book on its shelf alongside the thesaurus. He paced back and forth, eying the laptop that lay on the tabletop. Most everyone in the Organization had one… and an e-mail. Oddly enough, he knew Namine's… He bit his lip, something tugged at him inside, about the blonde haired female, a feeling of regret somewhat… Sax sat down at the table again and signed onto his e-mail, then typed up a message to be sent to Namine…

A while later, he shut his laptop and smiled, he had finally made amends with Namine, a goal he had longed to accomplish. He had to deliver her present soon, the mood flower as he called it. Marluxia had been nice enough to help the berserker find it in the first place. Marluxia had also wanted to make amends, and it seemed as though he already had. Saïx shrugged and checked his watch, for no reason. He knew it was still December 25th, still Christmas. Absurd how easily Saïx had adapted this holiday and how much he enjoyed it. He thought of the plant mistletoe, Marluxia grew it, and it was used to get people to kiss. His mind flashed to the Superior and Six's painful decision. Gulping, he got back out of his chair and exited the Library.

Worry filled the Seventh's thoughts, he fretted about telling the Superior about his feelings. The two had been lovers for... a long time it seemed. Lovers? Saïx chuckled nervously, as if they could love, they were nobodies...

He needed to break it off with the Superior, let go of him once and for all... Saïx felt sick, what would happen if the Superior got angry? Lord knew Saïx could handle happy or sad or confused Superior but angry? Heavens no, all hell would break loose...

"Aw Shit what if he doesn't want to?! I mean duh he wouldn't want to... I'm breaking up with him... but what if he were to get mad?!" Saïx looked around; making sure no one could hear his thoughts. He was ... scared of the Superior's rage, however rarely he'd seen it. He stopped walking, standing on a steps lost in thoughts. Thoughts of what could and might happen filled Saix's head. His hands curled around clumps of his long hair. Unable to think straight, Saïx collapsed to the ground, frustrated and annoyed at himself. Did he still love Xemnas? Why was he breaking up with him in the first place? Why now? Why on Christmas? Why couldn't it wait until later?

"Unnn..." He stood and stumbled up the stairs, frowning. His mind was made up.

"Superior?" Saïx called, knocking with his knuckles on the door. Impatient, Saïx tapped his foot rhythmically on the ground, trying his best not to break down the door... but oh how tempting that thought was. He recited the scene in his head, the optimum outcome for Saïx. He would come in, sit down and start a normal conversation, perhaps about Christmas. He would bring up Marluxia, then mistletoe, and it would seem like an accident... he'd look away and mumble something incoherent. Then... Xemnas would be quiet as he thought hard about Saix's actions, and then he would sigh and ask if Saïx was trying to break up. Then if able, Saïx would reply yes and then . . .

"Oh God I can't do this...!" Saïx muttered, gritting his teeth together. He was so screwed...

Xemnas sighed softly as he sat in his desk. He shuffled a few papers around, decided which mission should go to which Nobody. He looked off the to the right where two separate stacks of paper lay; missions for Demyx and Axel.

He growled a little as he thought of the fiery redhead. That little incident at dinner some weeks back still left him irritated at the pyro. He knew how the others 'felt' towards him and he understood that he had that coming to him for a while, but he couldn't help think that Axel took it a little overboard that day.

Being brought out of his thoughts by a knock at his door, he stood up and walked over to it, putting a hand on the doorknob. Not many came to his door willingly... unless they needed something from him.

Banishing the thought from his mind, he turned the knob and opened the door to see Saïx standing there. He noted that the Berserker seemed stressed and nervous about something. Xemnas only wanted to know what. "Is there something you need, Saïx?" he asked, his voice having a calm tone to it.

"Uh I just nee-- wanted to talk to you! That's all… sorry if I'm being a nuisance..." A small blush crept onto Saix's cheeks; he looked to the floor to avoid the Superior's wondering amber eyes. He couldn't say it, not just out in the open right there... not when the Superior's voice sounded so kind. He trudged into the office, footsteps loud as usual, and sat down in one of the comfortable chairs, however few there were...

"May I ask what all the papers are for, Superior?" Saïx asked shyly, voice in a low voice, gaze fixed on the stack of documents piled neatly on Xemnas' desk. Turning around, he looked to Xemnas quickly, examining his long whitish gray hair, his naturally tanned skin, and his normally cold yellow eyes. Xemnas moved to the side, allowing Saïx to come inside.

"You aren't being a nuisance. In fact, I was just about to take a break." he said. "Mm?" he looked over to the stacks on his desks... "Oh those. They're just a few missions for the others." he said.

His gaze ventured over to where the blue-haired Nobody was sitting. From the back, the Berserker seemed tense about something. Something that must have been important for him to be here and acting the way he was right now.

"Is there a problem?" he asked, watching as Saïx seemed to scan him for something. Shuddering, Saïx whipped back around, this would possibly the last time Xemnas would ever speak with such a soft tone to Saïx again. Regretting the actions he was about to take, Saïx jumped out of the chair and bounded over to Xemnas. He pulled him into a swift embrace and grasped the Superior's coat tightly. He pulled back slightly and caught the other man's chin; he closed the gap between the two. Suddenly, Xemnas found himself being held tightly and kissed by Saïx. He wondered what brought this on, since the Berserker normally didn't kiss him for any reason whatsoever.

_'Please forgive me, my love...'_

The Luna Diviner held Xemnas to him, fiercely and passionately kissing the Superior, a final kiss goodbye. He broke apart and ran out of the room, tears forming. He panted slightly as Saïx pulled away, running from the room.

"I'm sorry Xemnas, but this is goodbye."

He froze in his spot. Goodbye? He closed his door slowly, his eyes to the ground. He didn't understand. Saïx had just broken up with him... and it hurt so much. He put his back against the door, sliding down to the ground. He and Saïx had been together for quite some time now and, even though Nobodies couldn't feel, he had loved the Berserker.

He put his hand on his chest, over the area of where his heart would have been, and gripped it, wincing a little. It had only been what? Five minutes since Saïx had left and already he could feel his 'heart' breaking--no... shattering into a million pieces...

Saïx ran, ran from the painful heartbreak he'd just put both of the nobodies through. The act of running slowly became rhythm until Saïx didn't even try to run. Tears streamed down his face as he ran, countless Dusks stood by while Saïx practically flew down the flights of stairs. Finally, after going through nineteen different corridors, going down fifty six flights of stairs, Saïx collapsed onto the ground.

Xemnas sighed as he ran a hand through his silvery-white hair and stood, walking back over to his desk and sitting back down in his chair. He had some more paperwork to finish, even though he didn't want to do it. Sighing again, he laid his down on his desk.

"I'm so sorry, Superior..." He cried out, into the deep silence of the castle. His goodbye was cast, tears had been shed, and their 'love' was probably never to return. He had spoke the Superior's name, an act he had forbidden himself to do, it made him think of himself as an equal or higher-up to the Superior, and he didn't want to be. He was satisfied with being a lower, a lapdog. Anger… his Berserker side kicked in suddenly and rage filled the Luna Diviner. He stood and whipped around to glare at Kingdom Hearts.

"Why do you give us so much pain?! Why, Kingdom Hearts?! WHY?!" He yelled, summoning his claymore, he broke through the window and leaped onto the terrace below. A fight, he wanted to fight, to take his anger out, his frustration, his pain. He threw his weapon across the terrace and ran off of the terrace onto a grassy plain below. His golden eyes focused on a large cluster of nobodies. He jumped at them and fought them with his bare hands, his pain fueling the battle. The nobodies faded away and the battle concluded, Saïx panted heavily.

He looked at his hands; they hurt from fighting his Berserkers, Axel's Assassins and Creepers. His chest ached from the loss of his loved one, and what hurt more was that he could still be with Xemnas. He knelt in the grass, and stared up at the heart shaped moon.

"Kingdom Hearts, where are our hearts? Why must you pain us nobodies to an eternity of nothingness?" His blue hair fell over his face, like curtains, concealing his tears. He wanted nothing more than to be with Xemnas, to say he's sorry and that they weren't breaking up, that they could still remain together for an eternity... His hands traced along the x shaped scar on his face, a mark he got as a somebody he thought... He looked once again at Kingdom Hearts before standing and running once again, from the aching love.

_--Coda--_


	2. Con Dolore Piano

Xemnas lifted his head for seemed like hours later. He stood up from his desk, wobbling a little. He hadn't moved for a long time and his legs were partially asleep. Steadying himself, he walked over to his window, looking out at the glowing moon that was shaped like a heart.

_Kingdom Hearts..._

He sighed as he stared at the glowing heart. Somewhere up there was his heart. Somewhere up there was all the other Nobodies' hearts. Somewhere up there... All the hearts that were take from others that were freed from the Heartless were up there...

_Where is my heart...?_

Xemnas moved away from the window, heading towards his door. He needed some air, and a place where no one would disturb him. He slipped on his hood over his silvery-white hair before opening his door and stepping out into the hallway.

_Do I even have one...? Does it even exist...?_

Walking and turning down the many corridors of Castle Oblivion, he eventually made it to the front of the building. Even though he could've used a portal to leave, he didn't know where his destination was yet. That and he needed the walk to clear his mind.

---

Marluxia strode down the halls, fretting about Saïx. What was the outcome of the break-up? Almost everyone who knew the two seemed to be worried about the two. He stopped and saw thousands of shards of glass scattered across the floor, Marluxia looked for Saïx below. When he saw the Berserker wasn't there, he worried further. Where could he be? Common sense kicked in and Marluxia teleported to Saix's living quarters. He opened the door slowly and peeked inside cautiously. Saix's room was in shambles, bed curtains were shredded, long claw marks had been made along the walls, Marluxia trembled slightly. A snarling Saïx stood in the middle of the wreckage, shoulders hunched over, panting.

"Sa...Saïx?"

Marluxia whispered, entering the room and shutting the door. Hearing his name, Saïx jumped back as if Marluxia was about to attack.

"Hey... it's me Saïx, Marluxia..."

He inched closer to the Diviner, smile placed upon his lips. Saïx bent forward like an animal and was on all fours.

"Saïx, it's okay, I'm not here to hurt you..."

Hurt. Something Saïx knew all about... he knelt down beside Saïx and put a hand on his shoulder. Saïx smacked Marluxia away and into the wall, he growled. He softly moaned as he got up and limped over to Saïx. Saïx clawed at him blindly. Marluxia's coat was torn multiple times, but he finally got Saïx to be still.

"Saïx... Saïx, I just want to help you get through this..."

He stroked Saix's back comfortingly. Saix's claws dug into Marluxia's back, he gritted his teeth together to bear the pain. Slowly, Saix's long claws morphed back into normal nails and his slatted eyes regulated as well.

"Marly..."

Saïx spoke, pushing back from the embrace. Marluxia looked at his with soft pink eyes, Saïx scrambled to get against a wall.

"Go Away! I might hurt you! I'm a monster can't you see!?!"

He hissed, clutching his head and shaking it from side to side. Marluxia crawled closer; Saïx bared his fangs at Marluxia.

"Get Away!"

"Saïx you're not a monster, you never have been, nor will be. Now please, let me help you..."

He cradled the blue haired nobody gently in his arms, rocking him back and forth, whispering words of comfort to the broken hearted man. Saïx leaned against Marluxia, shutting his eyes and trying to calm down. The only thing he could think of although was Xemnas. Xemnas and the times the two had spent together.

"Superior..."

Saïx murmured, growing more tired every time Marluxia rocked him. He could feel his hair being stroked, back being rubbed, like a child... His thoughts drifted to Xemnas once more, before he drifted to sleep.

Marluxia summoned three Dusks to help carry the sleeping Berserker to the bed. Watching in silence, Marluxia worried about the well being of Saïx, would it turn out like Demyx? Would Saïx hurt himself to get rid of the pain? He shook the thought away and pulled the sheets over Saix's body.

"Sleep well... and when you wake, be alright... please..."

He whispered, brushing the hair from Saix's face. He summoned a few more Dusks and they started cleaning the mess that Saïx had made. When everything was spic and span, Marluxia left, shutting the door quietly so not to wake his friend. He leaned against the door and breathed in deeply, he didn't expect Saïx to be so broken up about this...

Xemnas sighed, glad that he decided to walk around. All this time he had to himself had really helped out, especially since he had a lot on his mind. Though, he wasn't completely alone. A few Dusks had appeared here and there every now and then. Well... at least the silence is comforting.

The walk down the halls was awkward; he spent the time thinking about the Luna Diviner. He passed the spot where he had broken the window; Marluxia shuddered from the cold breeze that blew in from the hole. He looked out at Kingdom Hearts, angered.

"Where are our hearts? You're becoming stupid broken dreams, crushing our hopes for being a Somebody!"

He growled, stomping off towards the Castle's front gate. His footsteps thundered through the hall, as the Graceful Assassin made his way through his Castle. Xemnas listened to his footsteps as they echoed, slowly finding the sound a little hypnotizing. That is, until he heard more heading his way. He slowed his walking down to a casual stride, thinking it was Lexaeus or Larxene. Marluxia saw someone walking also, another member of Organization XIII. He saw silver hair underneath the hood, he bowed in respect.

"Hello Superior..."

He said, standing up straight again. He tried not to glare at Xemnas, even though he was angered at him for hurting Saïx. Although... it was Saïx who had hurt Xemnas so he didn't really have much of a reason to glare at the Superior...He paused when he heard Marluxia's voice, looking over his shoulder.

"Is there something you need, XI?" he asked the pink-haired Nobody. He could practically hear the glare in the Assassin's voice, though it really didn't matter to him. Marluxia tended to glare at everyone if he was pissed off.

"Nothing really, sir... just wondering if you were alright..." He gulped hoping that Xemnas didn't know that he had gone to see Saïx.

"Is everything alright, sir?" He asked, emphasizing on the words. He tried hard to avoid staring into his cold amber eyes. Marluxia's fists shook, hidden by the long black sleeves, he wanted badly to punch the Superior, but ye again it was Saix's own fault in some respects. Marluxia's head lifted in shock as he heard a howl from within the castle walls.

_'Shit!'_ Marluxia thought, the howl sounded like its caller was in pain, it was more than likely Saïx again. He whipped around, and rushed to the window. He could see where Saix's room was... The terrace railing was broken apart and Saïx was there, Marluxia stamped his foot on the ground and threw his hands in the air.

"DAMNIT!"

_Kingdom Hearts, Where is my heart? _

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**a/n: **Oi Decided to continue this :3 So yah, Pensato gone, Chappie two in place Same one though... Anyways, we're working on the third chapter, thank you for those who have faved this already Anyways, Con Dolore Piano means 'With Sadness Softly' in musical terms... I'm probably going to continue naming the chapters after terms like this... x 


	3. Perdendosi

**a/n: ** Here's the third chapter, the title mean 'dying away'

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He started to turn back around, only to stop as he listened to the howl echo in and around the Castle. He looked back at Marluxia and watched as the other went over to the window. Curious to know what the pink-haired Nobody was looking at, as well as wanting to know why, he went over to the window as well.

He let out a small sigh as he saw Saix there, claymore in hand, battling a handful of nobodies; Berserkers, Dancers, and Creepers. Xemnas felt as if he should go down there and talk to the Luna Diviner to calm him down but, he remembered that he couldn't. The blue-haired Nobody probably wouldn't speak to him if it wasn't necessary.

He tensed, dismissing certain thoughts from his head.

"Go and take care of this."

He said the to Graceful Assassin, leaving his spot from the window. Without another word, Xemnas continued on his way out of the Castle.

"You-- How could you?! Turn away from Saix like that?!"

Marluxia grabbed Xemnas's coat sleeve, and pulled Xemnas around to face him and the window. He pointed his finger angrily at the terrace.

"You love him don't you?! It doesn't matter you're no longer together! Get him back! Save him from himself, Damnit! Don't be a fucking coward!!"

Marluxia yelled, pink hair partially blocking his sight. He couldn't help it, the rage just made the words slip out of his mouth... and when they did... Marluxia didn't care, he wouldn't take them back if he could. Saix screamed, Marluxia turned quickly to see what had caused it.

**"SAIX!"**

More nobodies had shown up, most likely because of Saix's howling. One although, had managed to get past Saix's claymore and had pierced Saix through the chest. He doubled over, pulling the Samurai's weapon from his body. He whimpered, and clutched the wound. The nobodies edged closer to the bleeding Diviner. He groped around, blinded by pain, for his claymore and gripped the handle tightly. His eyes flickered from the approaching nobodies to Marluxia, who was holding onto the sleeve of... of Xemnas...

"_Xem...nas..."_

Saix whispered, reaching out to Xemnas, just before another strike was prepared for the blue-haired man...

Xemnas tensed. Marluxia was right. He shouldn't have been acting like a coward, especially since Saix's life was in danger. He growled softly, harshly pulling his arm free of the Assassin's grip. He watched as Saix was attacked by a Samurai and fall to his knees while more of the lesser Nobodies started coming closer to the wounded Berserker.

The silvery-white haired man turned away from the window, summoning a portal. He had to go down there and help the Luna Diviner. Protect him at the very least...

Xemnas stepped into the portal of darkness, teleporting down at the terrace in front of the blue haired man with his Aerial Blades in hand. The oncoming nobody paused for a second before heading towards Xemnas, its weapon raised. The Superior growled softly again, slowly becoming angry. Not at the others, not at Saix, not at the nobodies attacking the one he loved.

But at himself.

He raised a hand and brought it down quickly, slashing through the nobody and sending it back into the darkness. Xemnas looked at the remaining nobodies, watching as a majority of them disappeared. The Berserkers themselves stayed a little longer before disappearing as well. He sighed, dismissing his weapons, and turned to face Saix. He sighed softly before taking a step closer to the wounded man. Without a word, he extended a hand to the Luna Diviner.

"... I... I apologize for letting you get hurt."

He said softly, as if saying them any louder would cause the Castle itself to crumble. Saix lifted his head and stared up at Xemnas, he heard the other's whispered apology.

"Superior... I..."

He turned his head down, and coughed, crimson liquid spilled onto the grass. Xemnas listened intently as Saix started to speak, only to turn away and cough up a small amount of blood. Saix bit his lip, he couldn't say that he accepted the apology, since it was his own fault for getting hurt, and the one who was hurt the most was probably Xemnas himself, right? Xemnas furrowed his eyebrows slightly, he needed to take him to go see Vexen soon before anything else could happen.

He used his claymore and a support and stood. The Superior's extended hand fell back to his side as he watched the Berserker use his claymore to stand. He let out a small sigh of relief, seeing that he was able to stand. Though, even if he could stand, he probably couldn't walk far. Watching as Saix stumbled, Xemnas prepared himself to catch the blue haired nobody in case if he fell. Xemnas would have to keep an eye out of Saix for a while, in case he decided to do anything that could end in tragic. Saic knew he had to put up a brave front, he had to make it so that Xemnas wouldn't worry... Saix hated knowing that he was making the Superior worry... he hated knowing that he was the reason for the other's pain... The chest wound throbbed, Saix didn't dare hold onto it though...

"It's fine Superior... It's not your fault, but I have to--!?!"

His body jolted forward, he stumbled, the agonizing pain swept through him again. He had been injured like this before, why did it hurt this badly then? It couldn't have been a 'heart-break' like teenage girls bitch about... he glanced back at Xemnas, examining the man's figure to check for wounds. If he wasn't hurt, than Saix was fine. Saix had devoted his 'life' after all to taking care of Xemnas... it was all that mattered to Saix...

He walked over to the Luna Diviner's side, taking Saix's free arm and wrapping it around his shoulder. Saix felt the Superior's touch and flinched, but still didn't relax even when he knew Xemnas was not going to hurt him...

"I'm taking you to Number IV's lab."

He said firmly, not giving the other male a chance to protest. Seems like he would have to be his support system until he could get him to the Academic.

"Ve...Vexen...?"

Saix asked weakly, still avoiding looking at Xemnas.

"I... I can go by myself... let me ... go, Superior..."

He hesitated, but tried to pull himself from Xemnas's grasp.

"I... don't need your help... please..."

Saix begged, pulling with all the strength he had, which wasn't much. He could feel the oncoming tears, and he clenched his teeth to stop them from flowing. He couldn't be weak, no one could see his tears. He wasn't supposed to, wasn't allowed... to cry... He wasn't even supposed to have emotions, so why did he want Xemnas to hold him... to support him... to be there... ?

"Let me go... I...I don't need you anymore!"

He spat, his entire self was focused on hurting Xemnas, making him leave. He turned his head again, for the fifth time to cough blood. He felt dizzy, probably the loss of blood kicking in... He looked at Xemnas, his silver wispy hair, his dark gold eyes... The pain of loneliness jabbed him in the chest, Saix stared longingly towards Xemnas. The Diviner only wanted the love and comfort, but that was impossible since they were only nobodies..


End file.
